Script #1

Being poor...

Scene: Living Room

Act 1: The bill
Living room- couch, tv, lappies, malaise

J: Mail's here- nose goes.
(race to touch their noses- D is last)

Simultaneous
C: YES!
J:Yah!
D: Ah, shit fuck
(Gets up and grabs the bills (which fall through an old fashioned door slot for some reason...)
Ok ok... Um, there's nothing
(Throws away several obviously late bills- one explodes when it touches the floor)
Wait wait- this- this is our internet! Fuck they're going to shut off the internet!

J: No they aren't...

C: Yeah I mean they said that about the water and that never came through.

D: Just because you don't shower for long stretches doesn't mean that they haven't shut off the water, because they have.

C: Bullhonkey! I just don't shower with water- you'd be surprised of the benefits associated with bathing in Coke.

J: Malaria?

D: Herpes?

J: Jaundice?

C: How about slowly darkening skin? I'm like Micheal Jackson in reverse.

J: You mean how you are molested by underage boys?

D: Or are you talking about how when you die, no one will care?

C: Fuck it! I give! I'll bathe with water, jesus!

D: WHAT WATER?

C: The neighbors?

J: They still let you inside their home? After what you did last time?

C: Well, not knowingly. Besides I was referring to their garden ho-

D: (interrupts) Let's focus for a second- we need money and we need it for internet.

J: And water.

D: In times of war, sacrifices must be made.

C: Well how much is the bill for?

D: Umm- let's see,
(Scroll through a huge document full of death threats and missed/late payments)
$60.

J: $60!?! How the hell are we going to raise that sum of money? Look at me! I can't get a respectable job!